A posting on Expectations, and the movie “Australia”

Never build up your expectations, as it always leads to disappointment.  After plying ourselves with a yummy Japanese meal and ample sake, we decided to go and see “Australia” at the Dendy last night. 

So much expectation.  So much disappointment.  And so bloody long.  The movie is a cross between “The Blair Witch Project” and an infomercial on late night television.

I made the mistake of only buying one glass of wine, and I was wedged into the middle of the aisle, so I was unable to get refills.  The movie was so boring that we actually made out.  After being together for two years, I reckon that is a major achievement in a movie.  “Australia” is an excellent film for lubricating your love life, especially if you want to go on a first date with someone hot.  Guaranteed make out, as the movie starts at a snails pace, and eventually you think you are in a time warp that will never end.  Countless scenes of people droving cattle back and forth across the countryside, round and round in circles, while a lonely Aboriginal elder mysteriously sits on the top of the mountain with a spear and one foot on his knee.   The only relief is when some of the characters appear to get killed off, but unlike Blair Which Project, they re-appear later down the track, so the time warp can continue…. until the point where you can hear the Dendy audience breath a sigh of relief as Darwin is totally detroyed in a bombing raid by the Japanese… surely this will be the end of the movie…. but no… horror…. it goes on for another hour or so… please just let us get out of this movie!!!

Finally the audience let’s out a “cheergroan”.  This is a mix of a cheer and a groan as Hugh says to Nic: “Now it’s time for us to head back home to the farm to live happily ever after….”.  Thank goodness the movie is over…. but wait… there’s more…. ahhhhh!!!!!   15 more minutes of sloppy sentimental music and large vistas of endless red desert.  I think we got the point over the first 2 hours and 45 minutes.  It’s worse than a late night informercial for pimple cream.

A Serious Posting on Homophobia

I used to be fairly a fairly chilled sort of person, especially in relation to issues related to homophobia and racism.  I didn’t realise that particular people have big issues with gays, lesbians and aboriginals, as I have always lived under an assumption that each person can do as they choose.  This has changed over the last year, as I have personally known three people who have been directly impacted in voilent attacks,  just because they are gay or lesbian. 

I just can’t imagine how people can justify hitting someone or breaking their jaw, or glassing them in the face, because they do not like gay people or lesbians.  And this has happened in Sydney, not Mecca or Beirut….

I really think that there is a major problem in Australian culture when compared to Europe or more develped nations.  A recent interview on ABC’s “Enough Rope” really made me realise that Australia has some huge issues, as the culture is largely homophobic, and quite willing to accept that violence against gays and lesbians is quite acceptable…  and Australian people have systematically destroyed Aboriginal culture over the last 220 years, so I hardly think it is a source of jokes or course amusement…

Kevin Bloody Wilson is thankfully a historical relic of Australian culture, but I was quite amazed to see how Andrew Denton encouraged this guy to openly make fun of lesbians, by suggesting that they just need a good fuck from a bloke.   Kevin also still thinks it is quite acceptable to make fun of Aboriginal people by calling them names. 

We are in the year 2008, not 1972.  I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing on the TV that night, so I wrote a complaint to the ABC, especially when I pay thousands of dollars in tax every month.  Here is their reply:

“Thank you for your email regarding Andrew Denton’s interview with Kevin
Bloody Wilson on Enough Rope on 13 October. Please accept my apologies
for the delay in responding to you.

The ABC regrets that you were concerned by Mr Wilson’s references to
lesbians and Indigenous Australians during this interview and considered
them to be in breach of section 2.7 of the ABC’s Code of Practice.

Kevin Bloody Wilson is a comedy singer renowned for his bawdy style of
humour and willingness to deal with taboo subjects in his songs. During
the interview, Mr Wilson demonstrated his lewd comic style on numerous
occasions, such as his account of an experience he had in Belconnen
involving a woman he described as a “thunderous diesel dyke”. I note
your concern regarding Mr Wilson’s use of the phrase, “Fuck ‘em!” in
relation to lesbians. Mr Wilson used this phrase in the following
context:

KEVIN BLOODY WILSON: I also got knocked out by a lesbian in Alice
Springs as well. They don’t sort of get it. They don’t get it.
ANDREW DENTON: But what it is they’re meant to get? You’re not exactly
showing them a great deal of respect are you?
KEVIN BLOODY WILSON: Fuck ‘em.
ANDREW DENTON: I think I rest my case.

In the ABC’s view, Mr Wilson’s use of this phrase was not a reflection
of homophobia or an encouragement of violence towards lesbians in
particular or gay people in general, as you suggest. Rather, it was a
reflection of his established comic persona and aversion towards
political correctness. On review, the ABC considers that Mr Wilson’s
remarks about lesbians, and Mr Denton’s responses to these, were
presented in a legitimate humorous context and were in line with the
provisions of the Code of Practice.

The ABC considers that the discussion later in the interview about
racism and Mr Wilson’s use of words with racist connotations was also
consistent with the provisions of the Code. Mr Wilson did not make fun
of Aboriginal people, as you suggest. Mr Denton asked him about his
definition of racism, and challenged him about his use of words such as
‘Sambo’ and ‘Coon’ in some of his songs. This prompted Mr Wilson to
express his view that he is not racist and that his use of humour
disarms the hatred and racism underpinning such words. He also expressed
his view that his audience is intelligent enough to comprehend the
humour and does not interpret his use of such words as permission for
them to use them in racist contexts.

While the ABC is satisfied that the content of this interview was in
keeping with the provisions of the Code, please be assured that your
comments have been noted and conveyed to the producers of Enough Rope
and to ABC Television management so that they are aware of your
concerns. Thank you for bringing these concerns to the ABC’s attention.

Yours sincerely

ABC Audience & Consumer Affairs

I guess that I am just a little testy when I hear stories about lesbians being raped by straight guys, or a gay guy having to spend 8 weeks in hospital because they get their face gets pulverised by a person who probably owns a Kevin Bloody Wilson CD.  I don’t think it is acceptable for a government funded program to broadcast a program that encourages a view that a lesbian getting “fucked” is a bit of bawdy fun.   It’s not acceptable, even if it means that nasty people don’t get to have a bit of a laugh.

I guess I am kind of thankful that Andrew Denton is leaving ABC, as he is obviously a bit past his used by date if he is interviewing people like Kevin Bloody Wilson.  It’s such a shame that Andrew Denton had to lower himself to such a level, after having so many good interviews over the past few years….

Fucked up Society II: Christmas Cards from your pet

I was innocently shopping for Christmas cards today when I was confronted by a new product that made me realise how sad the world has become.  A shop in Leichhardt has lots of specialised Christmas cards for those special relationships in life…. a Christmas card from mother to son, from son to father, from brother to sister etc etc…. but where did we completely lose the plot by having Christmas cards that come from a cat or dog to thier owners??

I can verify that there were no dogs or cats wandering around the aisles of the newsagency, trying to pick out a Christmas card for the human beings that they have to live with. 

If a cat was going to go to the newsagency, they would be browsing for the latest issue of “Birds” magazine, or maybe the latest issue of “Aquaruim Fish Monthly”.  Cats would never buy a Christmas card for their owner, as they are far more interesting in investing in new properties near national parks that have an abundance of birdlife.

Dogs are too dumb to understand any concepts related to Christmas cards or gift giving.

I am trying to imagine the type of person who would buy a Christmas card from a cat or dog to their owner.    It is so sad to think about someone waking up on Christmas day and feigning surprise at the fact that their cat has given them a Christmas card.  It’s just so sad.

Forget the War on Terror – the War on Wombats is more important

I am very grateful that we have an incredibly far sighted government in NSW, as they are fighting a new war against a formidable adversary.  Forget the war on terror, as NSW also has to deal with native animals who are resistant to change.  I now realise that wombats are a formidable enemy to Australian people, especially after reading about their ability to decrease property values in the Southern Highlands:  The war on wombats. Another part of me makes me realise that we are living in the most fucked up society when we are sanctioning the use of firearms against cute native animals like wombats.  People in other countries would be horrified at the concept of killing innocent native animals, but alas, we live in NSW.

The NSW government is giving working families the ability to have a gun and shoot these nasty wombats.   This is a fairly standard response from an Australian government.  Wombats are digging holes under fences and maybe building burrows underneath someone’s garden shed.  Forget the fact that these animals have been living here for thousands of years, it is far more important to reduce your maintenance expenses on your new fence or your McMansion.

When will Australian people actually realise that we need to live in our natural environment? 

I think I might be accused of being a subversive influence here, but I would generally support any underground movement by the wombats of NSW, if they are trying to fight a war on the people of NSW.  Most of the built environment in NSW consists of lots of ugly buildings, sparse suburbs and grey industrial estates, with a generous splattering of McDonalds, KFC and used car sales yards… they would be doing us a favour if they burrow their way through the majority of property throughout the state.

However, I do support the war on wombats if they ever burrow their way under the Sydney Opera House.  That might be worth protecting.

Fun at the Dentist

This financial crisis thing is making me appreciate the simple things in life a lot more, and to always enjoy life at every moment.  It’s great to get back to basics and realise that you don’t need the latest i-phone, and maybe you don’t even need to go out and see the new movie “Australia”.  It’s a good time to save money for a rainy day, but also to spend on those special little treats that make life worthwhile…. so I went to the dentist today for a bit of fun…

A piece of tooth fell out my mouth the other day.  The dentist confirmed that I had to have a filling of a filling to fix this up.  I’m usually a fairly reasonable patient at the dentist, but today I developed a morbid fear of the needle that makes your mouth numb.  It was unexplainable.  It was so awful, because I am usually OK with dentist needles, but I just freaked.  I completely froze and it took the dentist three attempts before she was able to get the needle into my mouth, let alone anywhere near my gum.  I was almost hyperventilating.  I felt like a 12 year old school kid.  She was so patient, but the whole episode would have made a good comedy show.  After the needle thing was done, I was fine, but the dentist was all flustered because I kept raising my hand whenever the water was choking me (like every three seconds).  It is always so uncomfortable.  The dental assistant was not very good at the suction thing, and I could tell that the HR department should also give the dentist some counselling on how to deal with subordinates.   I wanted to give both of them counselling on how to work like a team, but my mouth was full of cotton wool, lip clamps, suction sticks, probes and the dentist’s drill.   At one critical point, a piece of equipment was dropped on the ground as it was passed between the dentist and her assistant… then the dentist’s swivel chair went smashing into the side of my head as she raced to pick the implement up.  Then I got the giggles (much to their horror)…. not a good thing when there is a drill, two probes, five pieces of cotton wool and a suction tube all in your mouth at the one time… we had to stop and have a break, while I laughed and she was earning $400 an hour.  Not that funny when I think about it now.

Anyway, after 90 minutes, the filling was completed and I have another additional security problem whenever I fly, as my mouth will set off the bomb detectors at the airport. 

Also grateful that this whole episode has re-affirmed my disbelief in this silly Christian concept of “intelligent design”, where there are claims that human beings are created to be perfect by the intervention of a god.   This god must be a comedian or a total sicko, as teeth are the most troublesome awful part of the body that give you nothing but grief.  God has a very dark sense of humour, by seeing the misery of people through the ages as they die from a rotten tooth that causes blood poisoning…. these days you can pay to go to the dentist for a wonderful experience like mine.   I like to think that Charles Darwin might have a valid argument… after a few more billion years, we will evolve into creatures that do not have teeth.

Two faced Cats – A result of GMO?

I normally like cat stories in a newspaper, but one story today made me feel rather unwell. 

My cat is a global citizen.  He came from Singapore, but he is quite at home in Sydney.  As a global citizen, he eats fusion food.  One of his favourite treats is vegemite and cheese on rice crackers.  It allows him to connect with his Asian heritage, while also affirming his new found love for Australia, in addition to pigging out on his favourite food – cheese.  He obviously has some Dutch heritage as well.

A cat with two faces was born today in Perth.  It is quite a yucky story, especially since I have been reading an amazing book by Jane Goodall, who is a respected scientist in animal behaviour.  Her book deals with how we get our food, and issues like GMO (genetically modified food).   GMO is largely untested, as we have not had enough time to realise the full implications of modifying molecules and genes in everything that we eat.  Jane Goodall highlights that some of the testing that has been done on GMO in the past has had nasty impacts on rats and other laboratory animals… but somehow our governments and regulators don’t take any action on this issue by making it mandatory for companies to disclose whether products have been genetically modified. 

Science is quite revealing.  Animals like rats and cats have a very quick life span, so it makes sense to me that GMO food would have a big impact on them in a fairly short time frame when compared to people – their genes are passed on to their children very quickly.  This makes me worry when I hear about cats being born with two faces.  Has this happened before?  Did the cat’s mother eat lots of GMO?  What does this mean to people in the future?  Are we going to see people being born with two faces?

 

It seems like GMO is being thrusted upon us, and we do not have a choice.  Surveys consistently reveal that people would not buy GMO food if they have a choice.  So I am quite disturbed that governments do not mandate a requirement to disclose when a food has GMO.  Give people a choice.  If people want to save a few cents/pennies on GMO food, thats fine, but people need to know what they are eating.

I think we also need to think about the precautionary principle, especially when we look at things that have been thrust upon us in the past.  Asbestos is fantastic for building products and motor vehicle brakes, but look at all the health issues that we are dealing with now.  Not to mention other problems like aerosols and formaldehyde.  Companies that made these products have been able to avoid taking any responsibility, as they are no longer around or they have devised legal structures to avoid prosecution. 

If any companies are thrusting GMO food in our face, rules should be in place to ensure they take responsibility in the longer term.  Make them pay a percentage of their revenue into a fund that can pay for future problems.  More importantly, they should be made to disclose exactly whether their products contain GMO… so we can have some real choice.

Otherwise, who is going to take care of the people who have two faces 20 years down the track – physical faces!!

Even more importantly, lots of people are two faced already, and they fuck me off.  I cannot deal with four faced people….

Warning: Random Penis Pics

I am so glad I do not own an i-phone, as it has the ability to take nasty pics of your dick.  People should not carry the i-phone in the pocket of their jeans…. even more importantly, if you are going to cheat on your wife, don’t take pics of your dick and send them in an email… another example of complete stupidity in this age… the wife is even more stupid, unless she is gathering evidence for a really good settlement in the divorce case…

Click here to read about a completely stupid guy….

$6 billion for cars – an ungrateful reflection

• “Cars are just silly, and nobody with any brains would make anything so clumsy and dangerous, and nobody with any sense would ride in one.  Cars that have to keep to roads are bound to run into one another pretty often, and cars should be made so they do not run into one another.” (Quote from “Chocky”, John Wyndham, Science Fiction Writer, 1958).

It is not very reassuring to hear that Australia is going to blow $6 billion on creating a local “green” car industry when we are relying on support from overseas American companies to also contribute to the effort.  The local industry lost $400 million this year… but none of the so-called economic experts seem to have an issue with throwing good money after bad… no wonder we are in an economic mess. 

The local industry relies on American comanpies, GM and Ford, who are on the brink of bankruptcy – it is not too clear why they would want to invest any money in an Australian industry, especially when there is so much pressure on them to maintain local investment in the US.  The other major player, Toyota, has been spending many more billions of dollars on fuel efficient cars like the Prius since the 1980s, so Kevin Rudd’s stimulus package will just reveal that Australia’s leaders are dancing to the beat of Thompson Twins or Alison Moyet - give us a new tune to dance to!! 

If Kevin was PM in 1908, he would probably give $6 billion to blacksmiths and horse carriage manufacturers, in order to prop up an industry that is ready to die.  It’s a shame that we cannot think about the bigger picture.

$6 billion would go a long way towards developing new industries that could be long term winners.  Australia has lots of sunshine, and there are incredibly good researchers in the field of solar energy.  But spending in this area is dismal.  Despite the potential upside.

Why do we buy a car?  To get from A to B.  Public transport is a joke throughout the majority of Australia, so people need to have a car to get from A to B.  If people could get to work/school on public transport, they could start thinking about whether a car is necessary – it is feasible to eliminate cars in big cities, particularly if the price of petrol rises.  Governments should look at spending $6 billion on building good public transport infrastructure, so hopefully we can get to a point where we do not need to have a car.  Public transport is a longer term investment that will last well beyond 3 to 5 years for an individual car.

It is a shame that we are so concerned about industries that are entrenched in our society, when we should be looking at what the world will be like in 50 years.  $6 billion equates to $300 per person in Australia.  This would go a long way towards creating new sustainable industries and improving local public infrastructure.

For now, I will pause and reflect on all the blacksmiths who did not have Kevin Rudd as PM back in 1908.    May they rest in peace and bless him.  They would still be in a job if we had our current political leaders at the helm.

F***ed Up Society I: Rude people who Cultivate Little Monsters

I generally like kids, so I would not want people to take this posting the wrong way.  There is nothing much that a mom can do when a child is playing an incredibly tantrum in the supermarket, for the most insignificant reasons.  I’m not the sort of person that frowns on this sort of behaviour, even on a long flight from Sydney to London.  The majority of parents are good people who understand that there is a world outside their family and their little darling offspring, and they generally try to do their best when little kids are being anti-social.

However, on the weekend I witnessed an incredible example of inept parenting where a child was encouraged to vandalise public property and destroy nature.  Saturday afternoon at the food and wine show.  Little girl darling Lucy and younger little cute boy kid Adolf are out in the park with mom and dad and a big group of chardonnay sipping mother club at the food and wine festival.  Sometimes I think parents should have to stay at home. 

Lucy and Adolf start off some good fun by picking a couple of flowers from the flower bed in Hyde Park.  Cute little gasps from mummy and daddy… ahhh… ohhhh… isn’t that cute.  To further push the boundaries, young Lucy decides to go on a stomping march through all the flowers and small shrubs that have been cultivated over the past few months.  Rather than making any attempt to stop the little vermin monsters from destroying public property, mummy tells daddy to rush and get his digital SLR camera so they can capture the Kodak moment.  In the meantime the group of chardonnay sipping fat-arsed parents are giggling away at this spectacle – their lardy arses were so big that it would have taken a crain to lift them off the grass, let alone running over the pick up the kid and get them off the flower bed.

These type of parents are fortunately not the norm.  Do they realise that they are cultivating little monsters who have no idea of what is right and wrong?  What happens when these kids go to school?  They probably never need to share anything (god forbid!), and they are allowed to do anything they want.  I wonder how these kids will grow up, and how they will react when the face the realities of life.  Probably really self centred and unable to function in society.  I wonder if this small display of very poor parenting is just one of example of how the world is gradually becoming more and more fucked up and people have no concept of considering anything except themselves.

This little incident does remind me of a saying I once heard about parenting and pet ownership.  You need a licence to keep a cat or dog, but you don’t need a licence to be a parent.

Today Tonight needs to turn back the clock

Forget the financial crisis.  There is an even bigger crisis in Sydney now. 

Today Tonight has ditched their affirmative action initiatives by employing a male as their main presenter.  The power and meaning of their cutting edge stories are just not the same anymore, as we no longer have Anna Coren or Naomi Robson at the helm.  I’m sorry, but it’s just not the same without their gentle female touch (with a healthy pinch of bitchiness).  They used to provide us with critical information to protect us from the really evil people in society:

- shoddy builders who cut down trees that fall onto your McMansion (bloody bastards!!);

- nasty councils who install big speed humps in front of a  pre-school, so you have to slow down as you drive past in your four wheel drive (bloody bastards…. it’s a conspiracy with companies that supply suspension systems!!);

- Asian and Iraqi taxi drivers who don’t know their way across the vast expanse of the western suburbs (bloody lazy bastards, and they proabably got their taxi for free as well!!);

- fish and chip shops that re-use their oil throughout the year to cook chiko rolls and battered savs (bloody bastards… they are probably re-selling the oil to these greeny lefties who are turning it into ethanol and charging me $1.49/litre later down the track… double bloody bastards!!!;

- take away shops where they sell chiko rolls that do not contain any vegetables and battered savs that do not contain any meat (bloody bastards… why isn’t the government doing something about this!!);

- big oil companies / supermarkets / insurance companies / banks that rip you off (bloody bastards… I’m a complete fucking lazy bastard and I cannot be bothered to take any responsibility for any decisions I make i my life… why isn’t the government doing anything about this issue!!!)

Today Tonight is just not the same without Anna or Naomi.  Their stories need a kind female touch.  I really enjoy my job every day.. I look forward to leving the office at 6pm and walking in the door to get my daily dose of depression and despair that is presented with a female touch – this enables me to carry on to live a new day.  When a young rookie bloke is presenting these stories, it is overwhelmingly meaningless and really depressing (if it is a really cutting edge story).  Anna Coren and Naomi Robson always added a nice comment at the end of every story that was really saying “Well, none of us really give a shit about anything we watch on this show!!  Let’s go to a commercial break…” .  It’s just not the same anymore…

I feel really ripped off.  Today Tonight feeds me with lots of essential stories that influence the way I think about the world… it is so cutting edge, caring about big issues that other media fails to report.    I feel like every Australian should have a say when the evil money-grubbing executives at Channel 7 decide to get rid of Anna Coren… if they really care about working families and Aussie battlers, we should all have the chance to vote on whether Anna Coren should be allowed to leave.   Make Anna Coren stay in Australia, rather than going off to Hong Kong to work in CNN or some other worldwide network.  Especially when the Aussie dollar is heading south to Antartica.. it’s very likely to be the same value as the Hong Kong dollar quite soon…. I might get job over there as well!!…. 

 

 

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