The long lost sister

I learnt something today.

I used to think that St George is a very hazy, undefined area of Sydney that is more famous for it’s football team and hospital than it is for having a postcode that is recognised by Australia Post.  Or maybe St George is a bank that used to be a big strong dragon who loved Julie Anthony, but now it is about to be disabled by a sticky Wetpatch in a nasty orgy of corporate seduction… Sorry… I mean Westpac made love to the Dragon…  Or maybe St George was some significant figure in English History….

However, I am truly enlightened now – there is also a town in Queensland that is called St George.  It is out in the country, and it has it’s own mayor, whose name is Donna Stewart.  Donna got voted as mayor of the Balonney Shire Council with 1,694 votes.  Balonney Shire Council includes St George.  Maybe it also includes other towns.  But they are less significant than St George.

You may wonder why I am interested in Balonney & St George.  I was amazed to see the mayor of Balonney, as I think there is an uncanny link to the Sydney’s mayor, Clover Moore….  Take a look at these pictures…. it raises so many potential issues….

There are a few possibilities:

a) Clover Moore is moonlighting as the mayor of Balonney, as well as being the mayor of Sydney and the state member for Sydney;

b) Donna Stewart and Clover Moore are long lost sisters;

c) Australian people are smart enough to vote for the best woman or man for the job.

My interest in St George and Balonney shire was sparked by an intertesting story that examines how the mayor of Balonne is fighting to prevent the Federal government from buying water rights in the Balonne region.  Even though less than 2,000 people vote for the mayor of Balonne, they use more water than the whole of Sydney each year.   Irrigators in Balonne Shire use over 700 gigalitres of water every year.  In the meantime, the whole of Sydney’s 4 million people use less than this amount of water per year – around 630 gigalites.   Admittedly, Sydney is not a farming community, but it is quite horrifying to think about a community that is using water to such a huge extent, when there is such a huge water shortage in this country. 

The people of this community should not be blamed directly for this issue, but it would be good to see community leaders working together to fix the bigger problems for the whole country.   It seems like this community needs some outside help to develop new industries that do not need so much water.  700 gigalitres is nearly the equivalent of 2 Sydney Harbours each year – that is a shit load of water…. especially when it is highly likely that water will dry up over time in the next few years.  It seems to me that it is sensible to start cutting back on water use.  But as an entire community across the whole of Australia, we also need to look at how we an help these communities in the longer term… especially if the people have had the wisdom to vote for a Clover Moore protege!!….

Cheap Fuel at 147.9c/litre – Let’s block up Parramatta Road

I’m gonna be grumpy today.

Where is Clover Moore when you need her?  The whole of Parramatta Road became a parking lot yesterday evening as I was trying to get back home on the bus.  At first I thought that Clover Moore had closed off the road for (another) street festival – maybe to celebrate 14 days of continuous rain in Sydney.  However, she would not have had enough time to get her publicity agents to send everyone a survival pack of fully recyclable raincoats and rubber gum boots that are sourced from sustainable rubber plantations. 

To my horror, it was soon clear that Parramatta Road was blocked off by all these idiots who were lining up at a service station to get some cheap fuel at 147.9c per litre (after the Coles discount voucher).  They should make a law against people who blocked off the bus lane on Parramatta Road, when they line up to get their cheap fuel.   People on buses do not get a discount in the middle of the week – so why should we have to suffer from the actions of people who block the bus lane.  I imagine they were driving from all parts of Sydney in order to get a “bargain” on their petrol. 

Don’t they realise that they are like little mice who are spinning round and round on a ferris wheel, paying off big time for their 4WD novated lease….  please please let me find some more cheap petrol…. so I might be able to buy an extra Krispy Kreme doughnut for my family who live in a big air-conditioned gingerbread house somewhere beyond page 535 of the Sydney street directory….

I remember reading stories a couple of years back about these huge fires in Nigeria that killed hundreds of people when they were stealing oil from oil pipelines.  It seems that we are not too far off that in Australia these days.  A tank of petrol will soon be worth a fortune.

Maybe Kevin Rudd should start a new version of fuel watch fool watch, where people who use public transport get a discount when their bus or train is late!!  Or we get a discount every Tuesday when the petrol is cheap.  The only thing that makes me grateful about this sorry state of affairs is the fact that there might be very few cars in the bus lane when petrol becomes a luxury within the next few years.  In the meantime, I must get around to telling Clover Moore to get more parking officers onto Parramatta Road when the oil companies drop the price of petrol.

John Howard Cares: Talking to the kids about drugs…

Our household received another pamphlet today.  It was bigger & better than Clover Moore’s “Get Ready Sydney” security pack, so we are well on our way to achieving a very high paper recycling rate in this household for this year. 

I am grateful that Lil Johnny knows so much about our household and talking to my kid about drug issues.  Although there are no kids in this household, I am quite concerned that Thomas (the former drain cat) has developed a drug habit.   So Johnny’s book has a very informative section: “How will you know if your teenager is taking drugs?”:

- A Drop In School Grades: Thomas has not caught any birds in his entire life, and he has failed to catch any cockroaches in the new house - could he be a life long drug user?  I know nothing about his drain-cat street history in Singapore – is it safe to assume he did not get access to hard drugs in Singapore, but then again, maybe he just had good connections!

- A Reduction in Organised Extra-Curricular Activity (such as an unexplained dropping out of sport or other activities or interests):  It has been ages since Thomas has jumped up on the table and knocked over an expensive vase.  He no longer goes over to other people’s houses to pretend that he has not been fed since 1998.

- Bloodshot or glassy eyes:  His eyes always glow in the dark.

- Lethargy or loss of motivation:  Thomas always sleeps from 9am to 5pm (in between feeding times).  Then he goes back to sleep from 6pm to 6am. 

- An unexplained change of friends:  As part of my study diversion techniques, I regularly keep up with Jerry Springer and Oprah on a daily basis.  (It is essential that I keep up with cutting edge social trends).  I am quite concerned, as Thomas used to always avidly follow Oprah, but recently he has been paying more attention to Jerry and the in-depth insights that you get from his shows.  A sure sign that we have issues.

- Unusual or irregular behaviour:  Thomas got really shitty with one of my old work buddies the other night, when he hissed and spat at Jacky, even though he has never met her before…  I originally thought that Jacky may have been part of a cat-haters cult in a past life, but maybe she used to work for a drug enforcement agency. 

- Mood Swings:  Always an issue just before dinner time….

- Minimal interaction with the family:  Thomas’ only interaction involves meowing for food in the morning and evening.  Nothing more.

- Valuable items or money missing:  I always have less money in my wallet on the morning after I go out for drinks in the evening.  I thought I may have been really drunk, but maybe Thomas has been stealing money for drugs.

- Changes in eating patterns:  Thomas wants food 6 or 7 times a day, instead of 4 or 5 times a day when I used to work.

- Agitation, anxiety or jitteriness:  He went ape-shit the other night when I vacuumed the house.

- Sleeping problems, including not sleeping:  This seems to contradict the lethargy issue above.  Maybe Little Johnny has got this wrong…. but he’d never lie to us??? Surely not!!!

- Aggression:  See issues above – particularly at dinner time, or when Jacky ventures into my house.

There is $1.4 billion being spent on these issues by the government.  That’s about $280 per household, so this pamphlet must have been really expensive to produce and distribute.  I’ll make sure I’ll keep in a safe place, along with Clover’s “Get Ready Sydney” pack and Little Johnny’s “Be Alert but not Alarmed” fridge magnet.  I’m so grateful that we live in a nanny state where the pollies care so much….