A posting on Expectations, and the movie “Australia”

Never build up your expectations, as it always leads to disappointment.  After plying ourselves with a yummy Japanese meal and ample sake, we decided to go and see “Australia” at the Dendy last night. 

So much expectation.  So much disappointment.  And so bloody long.  The movie is a cross between “The Blair Witch Project” and an infomercial on late night television.

I made the mistake of only buying one glass of wine, and I was wedged into the middle of the aisle, so I was unable to get refills.  The movie was so boring that we actually made out.  After being together for two years, I reckon that is a major achievement in a movie.  “Australia” is an excellent film for lubricating your love life, especially if you want to go on a first date with someone hot.  Guaranteed make out, as the movie starts at a snails pace, and eventually you think you are in a time warp that will never end.  Countless scenes of people droving cattle back and forth across the countryside, round and round in circles, while a lonely Aboriginal elder mysteriously sits on the top of the mountain with a spear and one foot on his knee.   The only relief is when some of the characters appear to get killed off, but unlike Blair Which Project, they re-appear later down the track, so the time warp can continue…. until the point where you can hear the Dendy audience breath a sigh of relief as Darwin is totally detroyed in a bombing raid by the Japanese… surely this will be the end of the movie…. but no… horror…. it goes on for another hour or so… please just let us get out of this movie!!!

Finally the audience let’s out a “cheergroan”.  This is a mix of a cheer and a groan as Hugh says to Nic: “Now it’s time for us to head back home to the farm to live happily ever after….”.  Thank goodness the movie is over…. but wait… there’s more…. ahhhhh!!!!!   15 more minutes of sloppy sentimental music and large vistas of endless red desert.  I think we got the point over the first 2 hours and 45 minutes.  It’s worse than a late night informercial for pimple cream.